You know, only the good die young.

Come out, Virginia, don’t let me wait…
You Catholic girls start much too late.
Ah, sooner or later, it comes down to fate.
I might as well will be the one…

Comedian on radio:


“My son’s a jerk. He put super-glue in my Preparation H. My daughter’s no prize either. In high school, she was voted Most Likely to Conceive.”

And the conversation that wins the prize for the day…

H: Can you name the largest lakes in the world?
D: Okay. The Dead Sea—
H: —Wait. Excuse me?


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