Flurry of Fury: In *Remembrance* of Snow

I remember the first day I saw you.
You were brilliant
beautiful
and my breath caught in my throat.
You came to symbolize
cuddling in piles of blankets
and gazing
in a dream-like state
at the quiet
still
outside world.
Oh, how I adored you!
The way you moved,
the way you danced,
the way you clung stubbornly to the earth,
and the whisper-thin tread of your arrival to my life.
Work
responsibility
the normal apron strings of the day…
for you, I would forgo them all.
Oh how I love you so.

But the world shifted.
Ignored work simply piled up.
You began to annoy me.
I never thought I’d say that.
Not to you…
never to you.
But your constant presence brought turmoil
and afternoons spent cuddling in blankets
were also nights filled with thought
and mornings that stretched on in boredom.
I gave up so much for you:
that concert
that trip
that peace of mind.
And I resented you so much for it.

While I have made peace with the past,
you still impose upon me,
affecting my present
and future.
I need you out
out.
You are the damned spot in my life
that cannot be scrubbed clean.
Every time I hear of your approach,
I grow angry
annoyed.
I want to remember you
how you were
when I loved you.
Not like this.
Not with me hating,
hating,
hating you
for your inevitable
interruption
of my existence.
I plea, poetically,
for you to leave,
to abscond from my world
at least long enough
for me to move on,
to set things right within myself
so that when I see you in years to come,
I can feel my breath catch in my throat
from your brilliance,
you beauty.

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